You are here: Home / Archives for coping

Game of Life, 2012

April 9, 2012 By

Canyon High School and The Youth Project hosted the 2nd Annual Game of Life event on March 30, 2012.

At least ten local organizations participated in this annual outreach event, reaching almost 400 freshmen at Canyon HS just before Spring Break.  Students were each given “crisis scenarios” (taken from real life examples) and using the resources available to them, solved the situation at hand.

Some examples include:

  • You are at your boyfriend’s house. You got in a fight. You made him mad and he hit you. You left and just started walking. It’s midnight. You are alone and it’s too far to walk home. Your eye is swelling. You don’t want to call your parents.  What do you do?
  • You are being bullied on campus by a senior.  She taunts you, sends nasty text messages and has started a Facebook page about “hating you”.  You are afraid to walk home alone.  Where can you go for help?
  • Your dad just lost his job and your mom only works part time. You want to help out the family by getting a job, but you are only 14. Where can you go for help to gain employment?
  • Last night you went to a party and had too much to drink. You were partying with a really cute guy. You kind of liked him, so you followed him into an empty bedroom and started making out with him. When you wanted to stop, he wouldn’t and forced you to have sex with him. You are feeling ashamed, embarrassed, scared, mad and alone.  Where do you go?

The purpose of the activity is to familiarize teens with the organizations in their community that are in place to help, to teach them how to handle a crisis on their own, to make it less scary to reach out and ask for help and as an opportunity for outreach for our partners in the community.

Thank You to Canyon High School, The City of Santa Clarita, The California Highway Patrol, SCV Safe Rides, Department of Child and Family Services, Samuel Dixon Family Health Center, Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department, ACTION Parent/Teen Support, The Domestic Violence Center of Santa Clarita and the Boys and Girls Club of Santa Clarita.

Filed Under: Events, In the Community Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Feeling Stressed?

March 3, 2011 By

What is stress?

Stress can be defined by the reaction our body and mind has to life changes (www.lifespan.org). Teen years are a time of lots of change so we can expect lots of stress! Some stress is unavoidable: a teacher surprising you with another project or a pop quiz, a car accident, or trying to look a certain way to fit in at school. But some stress we can avoid like staying up all night to finish a paper, being late for school or leaving your books at home. The key is to find out how to reduce our stress and how to handle it in a healthy manner. So if we can’t avoid stress all together, why should we even talk about it? Well, a little stress can be healthy (it keeps us on our toes!) but too much stress can be dangerous. It could lead to depression, anxiety, or even suicide.

What can you do to reduce your stress?

In order to reduce the amount of stress we feel, we have to identify who or what makes us stressed. Once we figure that out, we can figure out how to avoid these situations or how to deal with them when they are unavoidable. The first thing to do is start to notice when you feel stressed. Write these times down in a journal to keep track of them. At the end of the day, week or month, look through your journal and look for patterns. Are you stressed because of homework? Learn how to plan ahead instead of procrastinating (waiting until the last minute!). Stressed because you’re always rushing to school? Set your alarm 10 minutes earlier in the morning and get your books together the night before. No time to rest or have fun? Schedule breaks in your day for “me” time and do whatever makes you feel better. Planning and preparation might be simple solutions to reduce your stress levels.

How to deal with stress?

Ok, so some stress we can’t avoid. And a little stress is ok. So here are some ways to deal with stress in a healthy way:

  • Set realistic goals that you can reach. Remember you can’t control the world, you can only control you and your goals have to reflect this.
  • Make small goals for yourself to meet along the way to a big goal. This might help you stop procrastinating!
  • Exercise and eat healthy! This can help your body react better to stress.
  • Talk to someone you trust when you are feeling overwhelmed. This may help you feel better.

 

FOR MORE INFORMATION

Filed Under: Depression and Suicide Tagged With: , , ,

Bullying

September 23, 2010 By

Bullying is when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more power, either in terms of physical strength or social standing.

Every day thousands of teens wake up afraid to go to school. Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students, and it has everyone worried, not just the kids on its receiving end.  Yet because parents, teachers, and other adults don’t always see it, they may not understand how extreme bullying can get.

Two of the main reasons people are bullied are because of appearance and social status. Bullies pick on the people they think don’t fit in, maybe because of how they look, how they act (for example, kids who are shy and withdrawn), their race or religion, or because the bullies think their target may be gay or lesbian.

Some bullies attack their targets physically, which can mean anything from shoving or tripping to punching or hitting, or even sexual assault. Others use psychological control or verbal insults to put themselves in charge. For example, people in popular groups or cliques often bully people they categorize as different by excluding them or gossiping about them (psychological bullying). They may also taunt or tease their targets (verbal bullying).

Verbal bullying can also involve sending cruel instant or email messages or even posting insults about a person on a website — practices that are known as cyberbullying.

What can you do if you are being bullied?

  • Talk about it. It may help to talk to a guidance counselor, teacher, or friend or a trusted adult— anyone who can give you the support you need. Talking can be a good outlet for the fears and frustrations that can build when you’re being bullied.  It may be suggested to you, that your situation be reported to authorities; don’t get scared by that concept – it’s important to remember that your safety is the number one concern; staying silent can give the bully more freedom to become more violent.
  • Ignore the bully and walk away. It’s definitely not a coward’s response — sometimes it can be harder than losing your temper. Bullies thrive on the reaction they get, and if you walk away, or ignore hurtful emails or instant messages, you’re telling the bully that you just don’t care. Sooner or later the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you. Walk tall and hold your head high. Using this type of body language sends a message that you’re not vulnerable.
  • Avoid being alone. If you’re in a bullying situation that you think may escalate into physical violence, try to avoid being alone (and if you have a friend in this situation, spend as much time as you can together). Try to remain part of a group by walking home at the same time as other people or by sticking close to friends or classmates during the times that the bullying takes place.
  • Hold the anger. Who doesn’t want to get really upset with a bully? But that’s exactly the response he or she is trying to get. Bullies want to know they have control over your emotions. If you’re in a situation where you have to deal with a bully and you can’t walk away with poise, use humor — it can throw the bully off guard. Work out your anger in another way, such as through exercise or writing it down (make sure you tear up any letters or notes you write in anger).
  • Don’t get physical. However you choose to deal with a bully, don’t use physical force (like kicking, hitting, or pushing). Not only are you showing your anger, you can never be sure what the bully will do in response. You are more likely to be hurt and get in to trouble if you use violence against a bully. You can stand up for yourself in other ways, such as gaining control of the situation by walking away or by being assertive in your actions. Some adults believe that bullying is a part of growing up (even that it is character building) and that hitting back is the only way to tackle the problem. But that’s not the case. Aggressive responses tend to lead to more violence and more bullying for the victims.
  • Practice confidence. Practice ways to respond to the bully verbally or through your behavior. Practice feeling good about yourself (even if you have to fake it at first).
  • Take charge of your life. You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can stay true to yourself. Think about ways to feel your best — and your strongest — so that other kids may give up the teasing. Exercise is one way to feel strong and powerful. (It’s a great mood lifter, too!) Learn a martial art or take a class like yoga. Another way to gain confidence is to hone your skills in something like chess, art, music, computers, or writing. Joining a class, club, or gym is a great way to make new friends and feel great about yourself. The confidence you gain will help you ignore the mean kids.
  • Find your (true) friends. If you’ve been bullied with rumors or gossip, all of the above tips (especially ignoring and not reacting) can apply. But take it one step further to help ease feelings of hurt and isolation. Find one or two true friends and confide how the gossip has hurt your feelings. Set the record straight by telling your friends quietly and confidently what’s true and not true about you. Hearing a friend say, “I know the rumor’s not true. I didn’t pay attention to it,” can help you realize that most of the time people see gossip for what it is — petty, rude, and immature.

Filed Under: Violence Tagged With: , , , ,

Grief/Loss

September 23, 2010 By
Everyone who experiences losing someone they love goes through a grief cycle. This cycle can last for several months or several years.

Common responses to losing a loved one include:

  • Denial. Help the person accept reality by being truthful.
  • Bodily distress. Anxiety can cause physical or emotional symptoms such as loss of appetite, obsessive eating, sleeplessness or nightmares.
  • Anger. Outward expressions of hostility, rage, explosive behavior or inward expressions of depression, self-blame or self-destructive ideation.
  • Hostile Reactions to the deceased. It is common for family members and friends to have feelings of being deserted, abandoned or rejected.
  • Hostile Reactions to others. It is common to blame others such as parents, God or a doctor.
  • Guilt/Self Blame
  • Bargaining: Buying time to accept the reality of the situation.
  • Replacement: Quickly seeking affection from others as a substitute.
  • Assumptions of mannerisms: Taking on characteristics of the deceased loved one and sometimes trying to carry out the plans or wishes of the one that died.
  • Idealization: The person is obsessed with positive qualities of the deceased.
  • Depression: Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, withdrawal and loss of pleasure.
  • Anxiety: Preoccupation with physical symptoms.
  • Panic: State of confusion and shock. A period of fearfulness exists regarding others.
  • Acceptance: Learning to reorganize his/her life without the deceased loved one.

Grief has been described as the combination of sorrow, strong emotion, and the resulting confusion from losing someone important to you. Grieving the loss of a loved one is a process and it is important to understand because the process is key to finding closure.

What does grief look like?

Grief evolves as the grieving process takes place. Just after a death has occurred, it is common for you to feel completely numb. You may feel guilty for not feeling sad or for not feeling any emotions whatsoever. However, you should understand that you are in shock and that the process has just begun. You will feel sad, but right now you are too overwhelmed to feel.

Grief affects you physically. It is common to feel tightness in the chest, difficulty breathing, muscle weakness, lack of energy, dry mouth, trouble sleeping and eating and feeling that nothing is real.

If any of these conditions seem overwhelming, seek the advice of a physician.

Searching

It is common for you to unconsciously search for your loved one. Forms of searching include dreams that seem incredibly real and hallucinations caused by familiar sounds, smells and sights.

Searching is normal and is an important part of adjusting to your loss.

Emotions

During the grieving process, your emotions may be intense. Let yourself feel these emotions and try your best to deal with them.

Anger

Anger is a common emotion following a death. Sometimes the object of your anger doesn’t seem to make sense, but whatever the case, your anger is very real and the stress that you feel seems unbearable. The best thing to do is to release your anger in a way that will not damage you or the ones you love.

Try exercising, journaling, hitting a pillow, or screaming.

Guilt

Almost everyone experiences guilt. It is common to say, “I would have,” “I should have,” or “I could have.” We can never take back the mistakes that we make in our lives. Try to focus on the things that you did. Write them down.

If you feel guilty about something you never apologized for, write an apology to your loved one.

Depression

Depression is another common response to losing a loved one. While it is normal to feel deeply depressed for the first few weeks, if the depression persists, it is a good idea to seek a counselor for treatment. Many people have found it very helpful to attend a bereavement support group. Most hospitals and churches will have information on these groups.

If you feel suicidal, call a suicide hotline.

When will it end?

Although it does not seem possible now, there will come a time in the future when you can think about your loved one with fond memories, and without any feelings of guilt, anger, or sadness. Give yourself permission to go through the grieving process.

Filed Under: Depression and Suicide Tagged With: , , , ,